Eating Out
by Virety-Enten
Summary: Gaz teaches Zim about human females.
1. The beginning to his end

"Eating out you say"?

Zim was intrigued. This human pig smelly was less offensive to his delicate Irken senses and had of late been "hanging out" with her. She was a good teacher of Earth's finite social complexities. Today she was telling him of what most female earthlings liked and hated. If only because his first and subsequently last attempt at the emotion "love" was a pain and meat filled nightmare. Regardless it was not actually a female earthling at all but the Irken invader Tak and her SIR unit Mimi.

"Eating out you say? And this is torture and should not be used unless asked?" Zim looked at Gaz from above his touch pad note taker.

"Absolutly. Only those married or dating usually partake in this activity but some who are neither do it too." Gaz looked at Zim wondering if he was really this dense or just nieve in a seriously, want to throw through a window, sorta way. He looked back down at his notes as if trying to decode the message behind it. Gaz knew he wouldn't figure it out and thought it was hilarious watching him deperatly try to understand the human female. Hell, most, if not all, human men didn't understand them and most don't even try.

"Alright then, decribe to me in more detail this...looking down at his notes, eating out ritual."

"Unfortunatly Zim this is one of those things you can't describe unless you have the experience." Gaz could control her blushing and the completely vague description so far, coupled with their previous material added to her ability to speak freely without embarassment. Sadly Gaz never dated; Ever, so this knowledge was foreign to her.

"Then how am I to learn!" Zim tried to throw the pad but as it was attached to him through his Pak he only succeeded threw himself forward. This knowledge was the most difficult by far. The social graces and ettiquete was easy, Skool had filled his head with garbage so he had it erased and replaced with all the knowledge provided by the biggest encyclopedia collection he could find. Sadly that didn't involve humans as social creatures hence his tutoring with Gaz.

"I could show you Zim."

Gaz was quiet and yet Zim could Feel her every word. Why he didn't know or care. Finally the Earth would bow to him as supreme know it all! Muahahahhaa!

" Then Gaz, Teach me, teach the mighty zim how to eat you out!"


	2. Before the eat out

~~~~~~~~~~~At Gaz's House~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was not cold.

It was not warm.

It was not still.

It wasn't nothing.

Hell, it was everything.

The night felt like what it always felt the night of your first "eat out".

Ha.

Date, dinner, chillin' hangin' out, meeting, food intake time, eat out, call it what you would but it was the same to every female on this planet.

Gaz was not immune.

Irritated because of her irritation at a stupid hair clip that refused to bend to her scary dominance and hold back That piece of hair There! Stop falling over to the… Ggahh! Stupid…little..thi…*snap*…damnit!

This continued from hair to clothes, with unending torment in store for the female who knew every piece of clothing she owned intimately. She let nothing touch her but that she hand picked and broke in to perfect comfort and practicality.

Standing in front of her open closet, 3 drawer dresser open and placed on the floor for easier perusal, and accessory trees and drawers gaping to reveal contents that did not sparkle or catch the eye in any gaudy manner.

And yet she cannot find a Single thing to wear! What is so different about this outfit than any other worn?

Oh yea, HIM. Or rather, ZIM.

And the search continues.

~~~~~~~~~At Zim's Base~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night was preventing him from doing anything. Electricity shot out from his fingers whenever he tried to work.

Chaos Embodied, was running around in a "sock suit' as he called it, focusing on the "recharge zone" being the living room carpet, before launching himself at Zim unexpectedly for little, no, No apparent reason other than he was insane that may have had something to do with the jolts.

But that was not the only thing tonight. Something was wrong with the air. Computer said nothing, but as he was high on voltage and mayo that was less than helpful.

His claws were reacting in a strange way. A pimply, stingy, zappy feeling on the surface with no visible or outward reason as to why. Except the zapping, that was explained away. Strangest thing was it only happened when…

Crap, here comes said lighting rod.

{Magnets taste like Ow!}

And there he goes again.

Looking down I see my hand clasped around something, a refrigerator magnet with a big sombrero with the phrase "I Love Tacos!" in big splashy letters underneath. If I moved my first claw over the "Tacos!" I saw something else in my head.

And then the feeling returns and I need a soda before I squelch my squiddilysploge contents on the floor. And that would be dangerous. Last time I melted a mind control device for…

{Turtles cannot fly Master.}

What was that about? Why was he in obey mode? Man I hate when he gets all red eyed. Creepy little robot. What was I thinking about…Gaz…righ…

*Smack*

Damn door! Computer, wake up and open this door before I reboot you!

~~~~~~~~At Gaz's House~~~~~~~~~~

"Gaz, what's up with your face?"

*Crunch*

Damnit, now Dib's glasses made my hand pink. Stupid brother.

With a flick of her wrist, a compact was out and Gaz checked her makeup one last time just to make sure Dwib was right and there was eyeliner, or blush or…no, no it's fine, I'm fine, Everything is FINE!

- Honey why are you screaming? Is everything okay?

Everything is fine.

- Okay. Have a nice night. I see someone outside on the sidewalk. They have been there a while. Could you talk to them on your way out? That's my little girl.

A pat on the head and off he goes again. Hm, What a parent. Meh, but he's mine, I guess.

Now, about that 'someone'…

~~~~~~~Outside Gaz's house 20 minutes before~~~~~~~~

He got there early.

He had no idea why.

About an hour ago he got very jittery and uncomfortable in his base so, opting to walk, he took his time getting to Gaz's house.

Why was he dragging his feet?

Wasn't he jumpy to leave a minute ago?

Gah claws…itch…so much iching, Why the Itching!

A human Male and it's dog pet stop at my explicative and stare.

Then, burning from a light drizzle followed by a heavy atmosphere with wet, dense air. Gah. It was like breathing fire.

Somewhere, a memory surface of a threat of "standing up" before an eat out that was not to be done.

Ever.

Especially not to Gaz.

Penalty was not death…it was worse.

Maybe that was the impulse that drove his feet toward his enemy's sister's house.

Most of her "standing up" speech was recycled from past threats, so while she ran down "the list", as he called it from time to time, his eyes wandered to her shirt and what it covered and yet didn't, and still did.

Gah her clothing was so distracting.

The top layer small and shifting where there would be peeks of something he never saw before yet impossibly dreamt about.

A fishnet layer clinging to her shape protected whatever lay underneath and that was torture to Zim's dream time. It covered everything from wrist to neck to waist, made of fishnet, it also showed everything in teeny-tiny diamond and square shapes.

Shapes that changed whenever she moved and better when she was threatening. Certain poses she took offered a different message than the intended one.

As he stood there, staring at the memory, a light flicked on and illuminated the sidewalk and the door opened.

And out came his everything. And without any more knowledge than what she told him, He knew she was it, whatever that was supposed to be.

This eat out should be informative and dare he say fun?


	3. what is happening?

I own Nothing!

Well, short and not where I thought it would go but, here it is.

The candle light induced darkness had caused 3 bruises.

The incense was clogging the senses and pores.

The exit sign gleamed in the far right corner of vision, beckoning, calling, beseeching with red luminosity. So far this eat out was horrible. The Voot Cruiser had malfunctioned half way to the eatery. Then an earth vehicle splashed him with a rather large spray from a curb-side puddle. Gaz remained relatively dry only because he had tripped her in fright and the shower of liquid landed on Zim and flew over her to land on the grassy expanse beside the sidewalk.

Immediately following the wettening, a bird flying at night released it's white goop onto Zim's shoulder. The remaining distance went without incident until a rise in the uneven curb tripped Gaz, causing her to fall into the surprised arms of Zim, which resulted in some "aww's" from an older couple and a tittering from a group of middle aged ladies.

Suddenly food was placed before them and the surly waitress sneered at Zim's damp appearance. With a flick of his fingers a small nanite was flung onto the waitress' greasy hair with orders to torment.

With a smile he picked up his fork and twirled it as he watched Gaz play her gameslave, too engrossed to acknowledge the plate in front of her. After her stomach growled for a third time she finally saved her progress and placed the handheld in her purse.

"You do realize that your slop is cold, and the restaurant has been closed for an hour I presume."

Zim's voice broke through her piggy vampire soaked mind and she started as she looked around. Some of the staff were sitting at the bar talking and carrying on, whilst others had their eyes glued to the nearest time keeping device and a seemingly involuntary foot tapping was kept in time by the lot of them.

"Oh, huh, well lets get out of here then." She slid her chair out and stood, accepting her jacket from her green companion.

The walk to the concealed Voot Cruiser was long, but thanks to numerous calculations, Zim determined that the nanites should be finished repairing the ship.

Zim found his claws twitching in a strange way every time her being came in contact, brief but existent, with his.

After another half hour of silence minus gameslave piggy noises his claws closed around her shoulder, trailing down to her elbow, and after a moments hesitation, to her wrist. Her hand was yet inaccessible again thanks to the electronic heroin she held. A flare of "something" erupted within Zim as she saved, stored and let her arm go limp to her side, allowing his claws to slide that few inches down to her hand. Having three digits to her five proved a thrilling sensation as their palms pressed flush to each other and his antenna shot up in excitement.

There was a surprising lack of threats, pain, or anything he normally came to expect when anyone even looked at her the wrong way, or any way for that matter, nevertheless touched her. After glancing at her from behind his long hair, he was shocked. Her cheeks were tinged pink and there was the tiniest hint of a crease on the corner of her mouth that directed up toward her eyes rather than down, as was the direction this particular crease had a tendency to go. He had long had a strange fascination for this crease, even before his rival, her brother Dib, had stopped the "game" of war as they called it.

There was still about half a mile to go before they reached the Cruiser, Zim's feet seemed to pick up the pace slightly at the idea of Gaz and her crease that pointed up inside his Cruiser, invisible to everyone, and Alone. Thoughts that never crossed his mind before raced now, at blinding speeds, of what he wanted, needed, to do with that crease and the mouth that owned it, and the girl who wore it.

Another peek revealed her cheeks less tinged but her body seemed to lean in to his, their shoulders occasionally brushing, and with each brush, a new feeling coursed through him. He wanted to run now. The crease had turned up more and her lips were less tense, revealing her lips to not be thin lines at all, but swollen and full, a mouth that begged for…

What was going on! Zim dropped her hand when the Cruiser came into view and confusion roiled throughout his body in terrible ways. Rushing over to the ship Zim was hitting a few keys on the invisible ship when he turned to find her standing stock still, and the crease not only gone, but as if nothing was ever there.

His flanges stopped clicking and scraped down the pad. Without conscious thought, he had the door open and was scooping her up to bring her in. However her rigidity made it difficult if not impossible for him to get a secure grip. When the ramp lowered he almost was clocked in the head in order to move her head, her not smiling, now scowling head, out of the way.

Finally she was inside and secure and he was starting the engine and punching in codes. A beep sounded in the ship and he whipped around to find her starting up her gameslave. With movements so fast he was amazed at himself, he had ripped it out of her hands and skidding along the floor ending up under a console panel. Kneeling in front of her he took her tiny, oh so tiny hands in his long claws and looked up at her. He had no idea what was happening to him or why his insides were squeezing and expanding at the same time when he saw her draw her bottom lip into her mouth. Something snapped as he leaned up and in to drag his long snake-like tongue over her top lip and then inserted the tip into the very crease he longed to turn up again.

Fear of retaliation left him as her teeth released her lip and his tongue slid in further to probe the inside and savor the very essence of Gaz's taste.

Aaaand Cut! Whatcha think? I know I know, cliffy but my eye hurts and I don't know where I'm going with this to be honest.


End file.
